There are no signs of controversy over California's latest move to legalize same-sex marriage

After 20 years in the same house, I started to feel like I didn't belong anymore. It was 2008, the year of Barack Obama's first presidential campaign, but also the year of Proposition 8, the constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage in California.

I've been covering marriage equality on the editorial board, writing several times a week about everything from gay parental rights to the economics of same-sex marriage.

Then I would return home and, on the last leg of my journey, enter a different country. Driving down my quiet street in Laguna Beach felt more like running a gantlet than coming home. Many yards along the path were dotted with bright yellow and blue “Yes on 8” lawn signs with a picture of a typical apple family that looked like it was from the 1950s instead of the 21st century: mother, father, son. , daughter, women wearing clothes. “Bring Back Marriage,” the signs read, as if the advent of same-sex marriage had somehow wiped out all other marriages.

The presence of such signs was unusual in Laguna Beach, once known for its gay population and the first openly gay mayor in California. The open attitude of the city was a big part of why we moved there.

On the surface, mine was just another suburban home on a California ranch: mom, dad, three kids, two dogs, and a cat. But inside, our family's values ​​were in stark contrast to what we saw on our street. Suddenly we were outsiders in a place where we always felt at home.

People who consider it their right to force their beliefs on others are not only disappointing members of a small religious group like myself; they are scary. We are already seeing an increase in that way of thinking about abortion, with dire consequences.

When my family walked down the street, there were three same-sex households, but it was a long time ago in 2008. At the beginning of the Proposition 8 campaign, one neighbor brought pro-8 fliers; we let him know that even though we saw him as a good guy who always got along, it would be better if he didn't try that again.

A little more than half of California voters ended up supporting Proposition 8, which repeals same-sex marriage in the state. The move was quickly challenged in court, and in 2013, the US Supreme Court ruled that the defendants in the case lacked legal standing, meaning that Proposition 8 was blocked and same-sex marriage could proceed.

But marriage equality in California was not guaranteed on its merits, just on a technicality. The text of the measure was unenforceable, but the dead words remain in the California Constitution, dead weight on the conscience of all of us.

Until now.

On Tuesday, Californians defeated the common-sense response by passing Proposition 3, which guarantees marriage rights without discrimination. They rejected Proposition 8's message of hate and intolerance, removed its language from our Constitution and formally denounced the lack of understanding and acceptance shown by state voters in 2008.

Of course, times have changed in more ways than one. Young children of the day of Proposition 8 are now voting adults with broad views about sex and sexuality.

This year, no one on that road has put up grass markings – for anything. Perhaps it was an attempt to remain friendly despite our differences during the Great Depression. Maybe it was détente. Perhaps they had changed their minds about same-sex marriage or were busy farming.

Or maybe they realized that there was no reason to stir up bad feelings about a measure that, according to the polls, was sure to succeed. This time, it was a bit of an unconventional thought.

The US Supreme Court's decisions legalizing same-sex marriage – in California and, two years later, across the country – allowed it to become commonplace. A generation grew up realizing that marriage equality benefits many and harms no one. Although the initial defeat of Proposition 8 was unsatisfactory, it was still worth celebrating, both for the joy it would bring and for a generation that had just voted with the benefit of information that many voters lacked 16 years ago.

That day in 2008, I took out the rainbow flag I had bought and hung it from the ceiling in front. Its message: Yes, we're not coming in here, but we're okay with that, and we're not going anywhere.

I still live in that house today.