President-elect Donald Trump issued a press release yesterday (Nov. 12), announcing that Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy will lead a group of outside advisers to create a “Department of Government Operations,” a proposed agency aimed at streamlining federal operations and reducing bureaucracy. . While the high-level words suggest ambition, the statement is short on concrete steps and long on words, making the proposal feel more like a statement than a credible policy move. Exaggerated and lacking in professional tone, the language relies on hyperbole with repeated references to 'Great Elon Musk' and 'American Patriot Vivek Ramaswamy,' suggesting a reliance on spectacle and shock value. The author—expressing an almost surreal combination of bravado, hero worship and populist sloganeering—seems to target a base that responds to anti-establishment sentiments and justifies the absence of clear planning. It's an interesting choice of language—as if we're suddenly reading a comic book instead of a presidential statement.
Suggested Planning & Development for Trump's Department of Government Efficiency Press Release
- Title: A “STATEMENT FROM PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP” can wield gravity. Center it, place it boldly, give it room to breathe—make it look like a president instead of a flyer. Consider reducing the size of the logo or separating it from the body to avoid looking cluttered at the top of the page; it's brand overload that dilutes the overall message.
- Tone: Calling Elon Musk “The Great One” smacks of high school level hyperbole. “Entrepreneur Elon Musk” would do well without sounding like we're presenting a circus act. Vivek Ramaswamy as “American Patriot”? We are in a funny place. A straightforward “Vivek Ramaswamy, committed civil servant” balances respect and professionalism. Avoid informal language such as “This will send shockwaves through the system.” Dial down the note; you don't announce your sequence Top shot. Consider rewording it to something like, “This plan is expected to create significant changes in government operations.”
- Clarity: The acronym “DOGE” for “Department of Good Government Performance” sounds forced and seems to have been chosen more for its meme appeal than relevance. Consider a specific abbreviation or simply write “Department of Good Government Performance” to maintain clarity. Better yet, rebrand this completely, based on the depth of the organization department you have to reveal. “Department of Government Efficiency” is synonymous with “Department of Efficiency.” A more reliable alternative might be something like “Office of Government Development” or “Agency for Public Works”—still less ambitious but less of a cartoonish oxymoron. When you're talking about an entire department tasked with “performing well,” naming it in a structured and professional manner can be the first step toward building confidence.
- Basic Grammar: Change “Federal Agencies – Essential to the 'Save America' Movement” to “Federal agencies—an essential part of the 'Save America' movement.” This improves the accuracy and flow of the program. It's amazing how the right punctuation can make a difference in taking away from yelling at the reader. to something that sounds objective. “To a major structural change,” add a hyphen to make it a “major structural change.” It's basic, but the basics keep things from looking cheesy.
- Style: “Politicians dream of 'DOGE' goals for a long time.” Did you dream? Are we in Neverland? Try “opinion,” which sounds more professional, less ambitious, and more strategic. “Reducing excessive regulations, reducing wasteful spending” can be rephrased to “reduce regulatory burdens and increase costs” to bring it into the realm of real policy language.
- Redundant & Repeated Phrases: The phrase “these two wonderful Americans” is empty and disingenuous. Stick to “Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy.” They don't need a cheerleader—they need a reliable introduction. Overusing phrases like “massive waste and fraud” doesn't sound scary the second or third time around. Once is enough; anything else sounds desperate.
- Numbers and Dates: Use a consistent format for numbers and amounts. Instead of “6.5 Trillion Dollars,” use “$6.5 trillion” to be more specific and consistent with standard financial estimates. There's no such thing as a “serious policy discussion” like getting the point across. Instead of tying it to July 4, 2026, which sounds like something pulled straight from the “1776” revival, it says “mid-2026.”
- Materials and Specifications: Give more details on how Musk and Ramaswamy will lead the program beyond just “making changes.” Briefly describe expected steps, goals, or areas of focus to gain more credibility. Telling us “they're going to make changes” is almost like saying “things are going to be different.” What are the changes? Provide an overview of the plan. To say that the Department of Public Works will work with “existing departments” to avoid termination or conflict is the kind of irony only a government body can achieve.
- Call to Action: “I'm sure they will succeed!” it sounds like a cheer from the guards, not a closing statement from the president. Try something with more gravitas, like “I have full confidence in their ability to accomplish these important changes.”
- Readability: Break it down. This release asks for bullet points or subheadings to avoid the impression of a word wall. Important steps need to be emphasized; this juxtaposition is about being organized like a basement file cabinet.
- Don't just: “The Manhattan Project of our time” is a difficult comparison with strong historical interpretations. Given the nature of the changes, this may sound like an exaggeration. Consider redefining it as “a game-changing step in government efficiency.”
In short, if this press release was intended to be serious, it missed by a mile. The tone shifts to fanfare, and the material is very thin. A bit of reinforcement, a lot of professional restraint, and a sense that this is serious business can take this from a shiny PR look to something really meaningful. As it is, this document looks like a big announcement with a hollowness echoing behind it.
